It is super hot here…”what happens when it reaches 88 degrees? You don’t want to know” (a little quote from the ever-hilarious TV show, Black Books). Today, it reached 90, inside our apartment, and it’s probably much hotter outside. We are used to living by various lakes, beaches, and bodies of water our whole lives in Ontario, so we are struggling to survive the heat in St. Louis. Living in this kind of heat is like having the flu; you are hot and sweaty, uncomfortable, tired, lazy, have no desire to eat (because turning on the stove or oven makes it worse, but also because it is just too hot to do anything!), and resemble a fussy, perhaps teething, infant.
For lunch I made wrap, and on it was some red onions. A good amount, probably more then what the average person would put on it. Afterwards, my mouth tasted like onions. I drank lots of water, my mouth still tasted like onions. I ate something else, my mouth still tasted like onions. I brushed and flossed my teeth, my mouth still tasted like onions. I have been “waiting it out” all day and night, and still, my mouth tastes like onions! I love onions, but would love to stop tasting them.
Then I continued my day, doing things around the house and making homemade popsicles, today was peach flavoured.
The artist was feeling quite hot, and need something to eat, as he was laying in the middle of the floor. How to help the Artist cool off in 5 easy steps:
1. Make him a meal. And no, just a vegetable salad or bowl of chips won’t do. He needs lots of protein, and made with extra love 😉
2. Pour an extra large glass of ice cold diet coke with lots of ice.
3. Point all fans directly at him.
4. Wrap an ice pack in a paper towel and place on the back of his neck.
5. Bring all this to him on the couch.
And voila! You have yourself a whole new Artist! The Artist and I share this intense discomfort for hunger. If either of us feels hungry, the window between feeling a hint of hunger and us gnawing off our own arm and running naked and screaming down the street- is very small. When coupled with heat over 88 degrees, some like to call it “Dave’s syndrome” (Black Books, once again). However, if this happens to both of us at the same time, beware- the world just may end. The same goes for thirst, but the window is a little bigger.
Then I decided it was time for a shower, since it is so hot, cold showers have been popular these days. How the process of showers tend to go in this stifling apartment:
1. Put your disgusting, sweaty, rancid smelling self in a cold shower, enjoy cooling off, and feeling very refreshed and clean from the cold water.
2. Open shower curtain, which might as well be an oven door.
3. Immediately feel uncomfortable and being sweating once again.
4. Your skin and hair will dry what feels like instantly, compared to the very cold winter temperatures where your hair takes all day to dry.
5. Undergo a further increase in sweating and uncomfortableness, especially if getting ready to go somewhere.
6. Come to the conclusion that the shower “didn’t take”.
8. Should the shower “take”, immediately sit in front of a fan for good measure.
Emily- It’s dinner time, but I’m not even hungry. It is too hot to eat or cook anything. The thought of food repulses me right now, I have no desire to eat.
Artist- Me too. It is way too hot, I just want to eat fruit or something cold.
Emily- Mmm, watermelon would be refreshing.
(several minutes pass)
Artist- I just got really hungry, I am in “the bad place”.
Emily- Me too (laughing and crying at the same time).
The Artist then made a delicious dinner and served us at the dinner table, we had hot chicken parmesan sandwiches. The chicken was baked and without breadcrumbs, and then sliced thin and put in a pan with our homemade, fresh and delicious tomato sauce with a pinch of spice. The Artist has this talent for toasting slices of bread, in this case it was french bread, and then putting mozzarella on top and serving the chicken and sauce on it without the bread getting soggy, but not toasting it so much that it rips your gums apart, and so that the hot tomato sauce melts the cheese perfectly. I had my sandwich open-faced with just 1 slice of bread, because it was white, and I am trying to stay fit and healthy. It was a big and delicious mess of hot, gooey goodness. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful husband, with amazing kitchen skills!
P.S. My mouth no longer tastes like onions.
Wow, this was kind of a disgusting first blog post! Haha!