As we are eating our sandwiches for dinner, I watch the Artist and think about how much he has changed in the last few minutes. When he goes to “the bad place” from hunger, you can tell. He gets quiet, easily frustrated, his eyes appear like they are difficult to hold open, he can’t make a decision, he appears to be on the verge of curling up into the fetal position and crying, bursting through the window to scream like a mad man down the street, or chew off his own arm. Then as he eats, you can see him come back to life with every bite.
One of our favourite sandwiches: pulled pork, which goes excellent with corn on the cob, and peach-orange-mango popsicles (I don’t like mango, but the Artist had frozen some so I thought I would try hiding it in these, it worked!).
Me: You know how you get all crazy when you’re hungry and then as you eat you are a whole knew person, like you come back to life?
The Artist: (as he inhales his sandwich) Ya.
Me: Is it the same when I get hungry and go to “the bad place”?
The Artist: (stops eating, eyes widen, and pauses…) It is almost worse for you!
Me: (Bursts out laughing)
The Artist: You get worse, you get really frustrated and it is like tunnel vision. You can only see what the immediate need is, beyond that is unimportant……and with sleeping too.
Me: (stil laughing)
The Artist: And for various other, really specific things. For example, on a rainy day, you NEED to cuddle and watch TV, whatever you are craving at the time, and it is usually something bad or a kids movie.
Me: I guess we are want-what-we-want-when-we-want-it kind of people.
The Artist: I am an Artist, and that is why I can’t work at a regular job.
This is bang-on-100% true.
This is us.
Why bother fretting about getting the vacuuming done when it is a gorgeous day outside? Seize to moment and go outside and enjoy the weather. Vacuum later that night, or tomorrow, it won’t go anywhere. Or why not embrace an urge to go to the zoo, the park, or get ingredients to bake a cake, instead of sticking to the original plan of organizing closets or cupboards? In our household, “life” is the priority. Especially over things like housework, dishes, and other day to day things. Every day is not like this, I don’t live in filth and eat junk all the time because I am too busy out and about. Because usually, a day will call for, or an urge will come up, for me to put up my hair, turn on the radio, and clean ’til the cows come home. And the same goes for cooking nice meals, preparing things from scratch to freeze for later, etc. It all gets done in good time, and doing it when I really, really want to, when I have a craving to do it, makes it all the more enjoyable. Versus, the opposite- staying inside when you want to be out enjoying the sunshine just to do dishes. Because, more then likely, the next day, I will want to clean up the kitchen so I can bake some goodies.
Embrace your urges. Because you may not necessarily always be able to. Kids. Career. New home. Family. Etc. I may not always be able to enjoy TV on rainy days because I will be looking after kids, or working at a job. I may not always be able to decide on whim to bake a cake, because I have to take the baby to doctor or get called in to work (and no, I am not pregnant nor are we “trying”, nor do I work, this is all hypothetical!). So embracing it now is important to me, because this freedom may not always exist.
Saying that we are want-what-we-want-when-we-want-it kind of people doesn’t sound so bad now, does it? In fact, I am proud of our lifestyle. Life is precious. And yes, I worry, and I stress, but it comes less and less often. All I have to do is go back to these thoughts, and remember. It is a great coping strategy.
Today, I embraced the cooler temperatures and did some housework so I wouldn’t get all hot and sweaty. I wanted to lay on the couch and read an article from TIME magazine, so I did that with my breakfast. I felt and urge to write a blog post, so here it is. I am excited to go to a zumba session later and ride my bike to get there, I can’t wait. I feel like cooking something nice for dinner, so I will!
Ever feel like doing nothing? Don’t. Ever feel like being super productive? Go ahead. Ever feeling nostalgic and want to catch up with old friends about old times? Do it. You never know when a time might come that you are no longer able to.
Embrace each moment as they come.
Enjoy the little things.
Happiness is contagious.