Soulmates.

I was out, but at a computer, missing the Artist. I was studying for a midterm, and of course full of stress and anxiety about it. I am waiting to hear if I got into the MA program I applied to and interviewed for, and I am really stressed about that too. Stressed if I don’t get it, yet anxious if I do. If I don’t get in, that is a lot of hard work applying (and applying for a scholarship) that didn’t pay off, and my plans will have to change. But if I do get in, that is 2 more years of what I know will be really hard work. I want to take on the challenge, but still, I know that lots of hard work would be in my future. Not to mention the stresses of daily life, trying to find time to do laundry and cook and all that.

I had been feeling particularly stressed at that moment, my body feeling restless and anxious, and I was yearning (and still am) to take a vacation with the Artist. We took an amazing week long vacation to the Dominican Republic in 2010, and we went to Chicago for a few days exploring in 2015, but that is it. We have bee talking about wanting a vacation together for so long, even just a few nights away somewhere within driving distance where there is a cheap motel where we can watch a “movie on TV” and order all kinds of takeout and junk food for a few days while we enjoy an outdoor pool, restaurants, sightseeing, a beach, etc. Even that seems impossible when you are broke AF, let alone going somewhere tropical or otherwise expensive like NYC or Florida.

But, my number one way to redirect my anxious thoughts it to think about my love, and how we get to share our lives together, no matter what. No matter where we are or what we are doing, we get to be together. Master’s program or no Master’s program, vacation or no vacation, money or no money, we will make it. We will figure it out. And then I checked my email. The Artist sent me an email with nothing in the body or subject line, just a link to a video. The video was of a car commercial, and the song of that car commercial has become associated with our lives. I was just saying that every time I hear that commercial, I think back to last summer. We had just moved, it was a hard, hard move with lots of obstacles. We were even more broke than we are now. I had classes start the day after we moved in, I didn’t know my way around and had no phone to use GPS, on top of the nerves of just going back to school after 5 years off. The summer was spent in a realm of anxiety and stress, with boxes everywhere as we tried to balance school, job searching, and unpacking. I was so stressed that I had no appetite and didn’t sleep well, and if you know me, you know that this is VERY unlike me. And somehow, with that commercial always coming on, the song somehow became associated with that period of our lives.

But now, the song is a reminder that no matter how stressful life gets, I have this guy by my side making me laugh, supporting me, and enriching my life on a daily basis. He sees beauty in such ordinary things that I never would have noticed before, and it reminds me to stop and smell the roses. So we would stop the craziness for a few hours, go exploring in our new city, and have some laughs.

I teared up watching this video, it was like he knew exactly my stress levels and that I was thinking of him, and sent this video to let me know he was also thinking of me, and that whatever happens, we will find a way to flourish, together ❤

Never Lose Your Dinosaur.

You know that twinkle in a little child’s eye when they get into mischief?  Or when they are being silly?  Or that little smile that cracks over their lips?  That twinkle and that smile is something my Artist has never grown out of ❤  And I love it.  Sometimes I catch it and know I have just seconds before something silly will happen, and I find myself with a huge smile and uncontrollably laughing.  For example; spitting ice cold water on me when I am in the shower, setting something up to fall as soon as I walk by, placing a random object balanced perfectly or upside down in a strange place like on top of the TV or door frame, coming in for what I think is a hug but is actually a trap for being tickled to death, or coming in for a hug but it is really a trap for his ice cold hands to warm up on my back or neck, or pretending to eat something weird.  These are just a few.  The possibilities are endless.  But I love it.

Just the other day a friend asked me how I am liking his longer hair and beard.  I love it.  It looks great on him, he can pull it off.  It suits his personality so well.  And when paired with his style- wow.  He does his hair so well, has various glasses to go with his clothes, and shoes, and it all just works together.  And he can pull off crazy combinations like wearing plaid and stripes at the same time, or plaid and plaid, or whatever.  It is such a good representation of who he is, and it just “works” for him.

The inspiration of this post comes from the other day.  He approaches me with that twinkle in his eye, and a hint of that smile.  I immediately know he has ice cold water in his mouth, because otherwise his smile would be different.  And he can’t talk either or he will spill the water.  As I am realizing this, he moves in for a “hug” and I can’t escape.  With his eyes closed, as if this is normal, he soaks me with the water.  And sometimes he has a glass of it stashed in a convenient place to grab.  Wow, this sounds insane.  But, it is fun!  In this heat, having a water fight in the house is a great way to cool off and laugh and be silly 😀  It is who we are, it is our normal.

It makes me smile and laugh, and even join in on the silliness!  It keeps things interesting, and fun.  Even in the most stressful of times, laughter is truly the best medicine.  I love my Artist for who he is, and I wouldn’t ever change a thing.  He is, as I like to tease, “wonderfully crazy”.  Using the metaphor from the movie Step Brothers; the Artist an never lost his dinosaur, and has helped me resurrect mine ❤

A recent photo of his long hair and beard.

A recent photo of his long hair and beard.

Fun and games at the park.

Fun and games at the park.

Silly putty fun, balancing on top of a pop bottle.

Silly putty fun, balancing on top of a pop bottle.

I got him a mini slinky for Christmas.

I got him a mini slinky for Christmas.

Some frozen fries fell in an interesting shape, so he added to it.

Some frozen fries fell in an interesting shape, so he added to it.

At the park.

At the park.

At the park.

At the park.

Just a few photos I could find capturing some of our fun and games.  As the Artist sits beside me on the other laptop, I hear “oh look, chainsaws are on sale at Harbour Freight Tools”…..I can’t help but smile.  This weekend has been lots of fun. It is a holiday, so no school for the Artist…I wonder what today will bring. ❤

Skype Visit with Grandparents and Parents

Last night I called my parents, and my mom wanted to call me back later because my grandparents had stopped by.  So I got my brother to set up his computer with Skype so we could all visit.  We ended up talking for about 4 hours.  It was amazing.  My grandparents have so much wisdom, it is just crazy.  The Artist and I love talking to them.  And they are hilarious, so we laugh until our cheeks are sore.  They have so many great stories about their lives and experiences, and they never fail to blow our minds away.  They are generous, supportive, loving, and really interested in what the Artist and I are up to.  We couldn’t stop talking last night, instead of sleeping, because they left us with so much to think about, in a good way.  I have always been close with them, spending tons of weekends there when I was a kid, hanging out with them and Char.  They were weekends of pure fun and games.  I remember being so sad when they said they were moving, because it would be too far away for these constant visits.  And then I got married.  And they took the Artist in right away, like one of their own.  They really truly do love him like their own, and it brings tears to my eyes just typing this.  I love that my family loves the Artist so much, and they can tell how much he means to me.  Last night, this really showed.  

So the Artist and I snuggled into bed afterwards, and we were just talking and being silly.  We were seeing who could roll their Rs the best, and talking in silly voices.  He has never been good at rolling Rs, but was doing it really well that night!  We laughed a lot, said a lot of “I love you’s”, and shared lots of tender hugs and kisses.  This is my favourite pass time.  Sometimes I think being in the real world, adults forget how to just play- myself included.  But the Artist has never forgotten, and he always “helps me find my dinosaur”.  We play and goof around a lot, he really brings it out in me.

Me- (as the Artist is awkwardly moving around the bed) What are you doing?

The Artist- Wiping the crumbs from the bed.  They are from my feet.

Me- (laughing so hard) Awww, that’s so funny!

No matter how many times I vacuum and clean the floors, they always seem to be covered with dust and crumbs.  I feel like I always have dirty feet, and I really hate dirty feet.  Just like I hate greasy or dirty hands, specifically in my palms.  Like I can’t touch butter when I am cooking or I will feel like I have greasy hands for days.  And lets say I rub some lotion on my legs, I wash my hands afterwards for the same reason.  At least he shares my dislike of dirty feet.  But it was a nice moment.  This weird scenario warmed my heart, for reasons unknown.  And I was reminded the of the other day, another weird scenario that warmed my heart.  I was sitting on the couch and could hear chainsaw noises, sort of faint and in the distance.  Now that doesn’t surprise me, because the Artist would love to be using a chainsaw to cut wood for the purposes of art making, in fact, he has before.  

Yes, that is kleenex sticking out of his ears.  He couldn't find ear plugs.

Yes, that is kleenex sticking out of his ears. He couldn’t find ear plugs.

But then it phased me, why would he have a chainsaw in our apartment, and where did he get it?  Turns out, he was watching YouTube videos about different chainsaw techniques.  Why?  Beats me.  But that is the beauty of it.  He doesn’t need a specific reason to learn about something.  He just loves to learn.  He is curious about anything and everything, and always has his thinking cap on.  And then he tells me all about what he learns and now I am an expert on it too (well, maybe, haha!).  It is just a wonderful thing to be a part of.

Or also recently, I came in the door and the Artist was wearing shoes.  Sounds ordinary right?  Well, the time had come, that there was no avoiding it- he needed a new pair.  I am getting out-of-control-cheap and we found a good deal.  So it was the fact that he was wearing his new shoes around the house that made me smile.  I knew right away that this was because he wanted to catch glimpses of himself in the mirror, and his reflection in things as we went about his day so he could see how they looked on him.  That, and he was just so excited for them, he had to wear them.  The Artist loves shopping, and clothes, and has a great sense of style.  He has a good eye for finding things for me too.  How many people can say their boyfriends or husbands love shopping, especially clothes shopping?  Just another, one of many, interests the Artist has, and something I love about him.

I asked him what nice things I have done for him lately that I should post on here, and he replies “lots of things, just being you”.  It is not even noon yet and I have lost track of how many heart melting moments we have had.  And out of all the things, he says “cutting up that watermelon”.  I like to cut watermelon into cubes to eat, but the Artist likes the wedges with the rind still intact, but I never cut it like that.  So last time I was cutting some up, I cut a bunch into wedges for him.  And we were heading out for a fun night together, and I wore this dress that he loves and did my hair and makeup.  And after being married for 3 years, he never loses that look on his face when I “emerge” after getting all fancied up.  And as we approach the car to head out, he opens my door and ushers with his hand “your carriage awaits” and then closes the door as I am in.  He is the sweetest, most sensitive and thoughtful husband ever.  Seriously.  

(These are his new shoes)

This is the dress I mentioned, and his new shoes.

We spend a lot of time together, and no matter what we are doing, it is always special.  Even if it is just laying in bed on a rainy day watching TV.  Always, we are giggling, being silly, and telling each other how we feel.  We were recently talking about the big accomplishments we have done in our lives thus far, and I said that being happily married for 3 years is a huge one.  Just getting married at all is a huge deal.  And he replied with “ya but anyone can get married….it is who I married that made it special and a big deal, and a big accomplishment in my life”.  

wedding

On our wedding day.

We may not have much, we may be “starving students”, but to be healthy and to have each other- we are truly rich.